Why I wrote a book.

Synthetica is nearly here.

Tomorrow, I will finally be releasing my baby into the wild for it to fend for itself. I'll still be here if it needs to be fed, or comforted or if it wants to come home for a little while, but really, it's time it stood on it's own two legs.

There's not really much else I can say. I've freaked out about the launch, I've put up a little teaser from the book, I've posted up my writing playlist, I've told you about the inspiration behind the book, and I've revealed my book cover.

There is really only one last thing I wanted to share with you all, and that's the reason why I finally got my act together and wrote a book, instead of just sitting here still daydreaming about it.

The reason is my state of mind.

You've probably seen me mention passing references to my mental health and my anxiety in this blog. The time is coming soon, I think, when I'll let you know the whole horrible story behind it, but as I'm still trying to wrap my head around my book launch and get ready for the A to Z blogging challenge, that day is not today. All you need to know is that a few years ago in my second year of uni, I suffered a panic attack which led to a nervous breakdown (which is a tad ironic because at the time, I was having the best time of my life). The lingering effect of this, is that to this day I still suffer from high anxiety - it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but it's definitely still there and it gets so much worse if I'm tired. And I also have a horrible suspicion that it's led to a few episodes of depression, though, as I'll explain later, I don't trust going to the doctors to get it officially diagnosed.

Anyway, back then, I didn't know what I was dealing with. Mental health was never a topic that was discussed in school, which led me to believe I was indeed going mad. It took me a long, long time to come to the realisation that I wasn't mad - I was just human.

But during my darkest days, I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I didn't want to meet up with any of my friends, I didn't want to talk to my family, I didn't want to go outside. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Which I did. A lot.

I don't recall when the turning point came, but I do know it took me at least two years to get back to anything resembling normal. But I lost such a big portion of my life, that it made me realise something - I'm not willing to wait around anymore. I'm done with being helpless. I'm done with thinking that I'm a failure and that I have no control over my future or my life. Because I do. I'm the one that's in control of my life, not my anxiety.

It's taken a couple of false starts, and writing novels which came to a sudden dead end because the plot wasn't going anywhere, but guess what? I did it. Through all my securities, and my anxiety and my black periods where I didn't want to communicate with anyone, I did it. I wrote a book. And now I know that I can do it again. And again. And again. As many times as I like. Or not, if I choose not to write anymore. The point is, it's up to me.

I often raise an eyebrow when I see people saying' oh, I wrote my book for me, not for anyone else to read' but y'know what? I did write Synthetica for myself. I wrote Synthetica to show myself that I am capable of doing something with my life, that I'm more than capable of following my dreams and making my dreams a reality. All I have to do is to keep working at it, and keep writing.

I will never let my mental health define me. I will never let it restrict the choices I have in my life, or make me think that I'm worthless, or that all this has been for nothing. Because at the end of the day, whether you choose to read Synthetica or not (although I sincerely hope you will), I wrote this book for me. And I finished writing it for me.

And I'm damn proud of that.

Happy Fridays and Synthetica Book Blitz announced!

Morning everyone! It's Friday, the sun is shining and it's the last day of school before the two week Easter break! Hooray!

Another thing to celebrate is that the Synthetica book blitz is now open for sign-ups!! The blitz will run from 1st - 8th April and you can sign up here at the YA Bound website if you'd like to take part :) (don't you just love that banner?? I know I do!). Huge thanks to Nereyda over at YA Books for organising the whole thing!!

So that's all my Friday news! I'm considering wearing my new bright yellow coat today, just to keep me in a happy mood ;).

Happy Friday, everyone! Have a great weekend!

#SyntheticaTrivia kicks off!

So I decided on a whim to release some little known, but hopefully still interesting, facts about Synthetica on Twitter. You can catch the first few now on my Twitter!

They're just designed to be fun little tidbits that will hopefully bring the story to life for you a bit more, as well as give you a bit of insight into the inspiration behind some of the characters and the Imperial City :).

I'll be posting #SyntheticaTrivia facts over Twitter on Thursday night and Friday night from 6pm and then....*drum roll please*...I'll be announcing a giveaway based on one of the facts, on my blog over the weekend! So make sure you're paying attention ;)!

Have a great rest of the week, folks!

Weekend Ramblings

I've forgotten how many posts I've given this title, but I'm pretty sure it's more than one. Oh well, my brain is a bit mushy right now, so you're stuck with it ;).

I haven't really accomplished much this week, writing-wise, as the Engineer got rushed into A&E on Monday after an accident at work and I've spent my free time this week driving him to and from work, and generally making sure he's okay. He managed to slash his wrist on a piece of machinery, but luckily it didn't hit anything major and he's doing fine :). He can drive again now, but he just needs to be careful not to twist his wrist too much!

So after all that, all I've really managed to do is note down any ideas that have come to me regarding Synthetica's sequel, and thinking them over. I've already managed to stump myself regarding one character's backstory, and I'm struggling with how to make him seem more relatable. Hopefully this week I'll be able to work on it a bit more on paper, and get a few more coherent ideas down.

This weekend I was also going to write a few more A to Z posts, but that hasn't happened yet. Maybe I'll get a few more done today.

Yesterday me and the Engineer went into Norwich - we met up with his sister for lunch, and it was lovely to see her and have a proper catch up. We then went clothes shopping for the both of us, and although we're probably going to be living on tinned beans for the rest of the month, it was so worth it. I've never been one of those girls who loves to go out shopping - I hate crowds, and I generally hold the view that if it hasn't got holes in it (or sometimes, even if it has got holes in it), why replace it? But after the week we've had, who knew retail therapy could actually be enjoyable?! I'm really pleased with what I bought; one of the things was an impulse buy - a bright yellow raincoat/mac - but it looks gorgeous and it makes me happy just looking at it! So if England doesn't get any sunshine this summer, at least I know I have something in my wardrobe that'll make me happy!

Hope you're all having a good weekend! And, for those of you who also work in a school, there's only ONE WEEK LEFT TIL EASTER!! WE CAN DO THIS!!

Happy Sunday!

Synthetica - Cover Reveal!!

So the day is finally here...I can finally get rid of that horrible greyish/green box on my Goodreads page and jazz up my soon-to-be 'Books' page on my blog. Why? Because today is the day I CAN FINALLY REVEAL THE COVER FOR SYNTHETICA!!

I'm so so excited!! I really, really hope you guys like it!

Before I get down to it, I just wanted to share with you a little story behind the cover, and why it means so much to me.

Basically, back in January this year, I was slogging through my rewrites of Synthetica, still dreaming about getting published one day but not really doing much about it and going through one of the worst bouts of anxiety I've had in a long long time. I couldn't seem to pull myself out of it. Everything just seemed dull and pointless.

But then, one night, the Engineer started asking me questions about my book. The conversation went a little like this:

Engineer (out of the blue): "What kind of mask does your villain wear?"
Me: "Think about the guy from Captain America: The Winter Solider, and you've got your man. Why?"
Engineer (super sly): "No reason..."
Me: "TELL ME!"
Engineer: "No." *clams up and refuses to speak to me about it again*

That conversation hasn't been stylised at all. Well, maybe a little, but still - he did ask me out of the blue about my villain's mask and when I pressed him, he did refuse to tell me.

A week or so later, while he was in China on a business trip, the Engineer sent me an email. Attached was a mock-up of a cover for Synthetica. Without me knowing, he'd got a designer he works with to design a cover for me. I was in shock and so thrilled at the same time - when I asked him why he'd done it, you know what the Engineer said to me? He said he wanted me to have something to look forward to. He did it to pull me out of myself and back into the real world. I still can't believe that I've managed to find someone that selfless, who knew I was going through a rough time and decided to help me out of it by encouraging me to never give up on my dreams. I wouldn't be self-publishing my book today, if it wasn't for him.

If I'm 100% honest, that first cover wasn't what I was imagining when I thought about it in my endless daydreams, but I think that's a good thing. I think that together, me and my designer have come up with an even stronger design than the one I originally envisioned.

It's not pretty like the other YA book covers you tend to see. But y'know what? I don't care. I'm not a frilly, pretty pink person. Neither is my book. Both me and my book are dark and straight to the point. And in this context, I think the cover for Synthetica couldn't have been any better.

It's bold. It's simple. It's striking. It's everything I wanted.

And here it is:

Synthetica...it's coming. 1st April 2015.

The backbone of the story...

Today, I'm going to be talking a little bit about the background to Synthetica.

There are a lot of  dystopian/sci-fi/apocalyptic YA books out there which seem to have one central theme: all of the protagonists are fighting to overthrow some kind of government regime. I know that not all YA books within these genres contain this theme - there are some that don't, and then there are some which do, but they deal with it a lot better than others.

For whatever reason, the main character is often 'chosen' in some way to lead the resistance against this oppressive power. Which they often manage to do against impossible odds, without getting all sweaty and falling in love with a cookie cutter, I mean, handsome, devil-may-care male lead in the process.

I have no problem with this. The Hunger Games and Divergent count among my favourite YA books of all time (if I'm completely honest, I think Divergent may actually be my favourite, full stop). I love to read (and write) YA, simply because it allows me to escape reality into these fantastic worlds, where the protagonists fight against all odds to do what they believe to be right. It's great, and I love, love, love it.

But...

I can't lie. My patience is starting to wear slightly. I can deal with oddly constructed love triangles. I can deal with whiny heroines/heros. What I can't deal with any more is the flimsy premise that some of these main characters have for miraculously meeting the head of this so-called totalitarian government and then either a) being forced to work for them or b) being recruited to work against them.

When I read, I want to be sucked into the character's world and feel what they're feeling, and see what they're seeing. The world can be as fantastical as you like - talking dragons? Shape shifting puppies? Twenty feet tall cupcake monsters? - I genuinely don't care, so long as the author can draw me into this crazy world and make me believe it could be true.
But readers can tell when something is so obviously done for convenience - such as the MC randomly meeting the President, or the King or Queen, or whoever, just so they can fight them later down the line. It jars. It takes you out of the novel's world, and makes you think, 'hang on, what just happened??' Once this thought happens, it's very hard (for me at least) to get back into the story, because I finally myself gradually getting more and more annoyed at the characters, and the ease at which they overcome obstacles or manage to overthrow an entire government.

So I knew from the start that Synthetica was never going to be about bringing down a government regime.

There is a reason why I love Lord of the Rings. And Harry Potter. And Batman. And any Marvel comic/film. Each and every one of the character's battles was personal. The reader could connect with what the character was doing, and why. We get to see their inner turmoil, see what makes them tick, see them agonise over their choices, and - ultimately - defeat a villain.

And that, right there, is why I wrote Synthetica the way I did. I wanted Anais' battles to be personal. I want readers to love her when she gets it right, and hate her when she gets it wrong. I want people to like her and dislike her in equal measure. Sometimes, I dislike her and the choices she makes, but ultimately, I still want her to succeed against her own enemy - the Hacker. The reason I loved writing Synthetica so much is because I felt I had so much more scope with the story by making Anais' enemy a real person. Firstly, how do they even become enemies? How does the Hacker make his plans personal to her? Why does she need to stop him? How will this obsession (on both their parts) affect their relationships with other people?

I haven't answered all of these questions in this book. But I definitely kept them in mind while writing Synthetica; and the second book in the series is going to focus on that final question in particular.

I just hope you all enjoy reading about Anais' world as much as I enjoyed writing it :).

Cover reveal! Nexis by A.L. Davroe

Nexis

by A.L. Davroe 

Release Date: 12/01/15

Entangled Teen

Summary from Goodreads:

In the domed city of Evanescence, appearance is everything. A Natural Born amongst genetically-altered Aristocrats, all Ella ever wanted was to be like everyone else. Augmented, sparkling, and perfect. Then...the crash. Devastated by her father's death and struggling with her new physical limitations, Ella is terrified to learn she is not just alone, but little more than a prisoner.</ div>

Her only escape is to lose herself in Nexis, the hugely popular virtual reality game her father created. In Nexis she meets Guster, a senior player who guides Ella through the strange and compelling new world she now inhabits. He offers Ella guidance, friendship...and something more. Something that allows her to forget about the “real” world, and makes her feel whole again.

But Nexis isn't quite the game everyone thinks it is.

And it's been waiting for Ella.

About the Author

I write both YA and adult speculative fiction. I prefer revisionist tales in paranormal, romance, Steampunk, and fantasy. I'm the author of Salvation Station (adult psych horror), The City Steam Collection (adult psych horror), For Your Heart (YA Paranormal Romance) and my YA Sci-Fi novel, Nexis</ i>, is coming out with Entangled Publishing in 2015!

By day, I live in Connecticut with my two feline hench-creatures.  I'm a terrible blusher, have a weak spot for cuddly animals, love Laffy Taffy and Cadbury MiniEggs, and I'm a huge advocate of alternative healing methods.  I also wear Vibram five-finger toe shoes and corsets...Though not always in the same ensemble.  I'm a Capricorn, a Hufflepuff, and a few nuggets short of a Happy Meal.  I also suffer from Resting Bitchface Syndrome (RBS), so even though I might look like I'll tie you in a knot if you come near me, I'm more afraid of you than you are of me (see blushing problem above).

Author Links:

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Cover Reveal Organized by:

Inspiration Station...

In honour of Synthetica being released next month (three weeks to go, people...I think I'm going to throw up from nerves...), I thought I'd share with you all the inspiration behind the novel.

Originally when I thought of this post, I remembered a few bits and pieces from conversations I'd had with the Engineer, and the original scene from the Matrix that inspired me to jot down the idea for Synthetica. But then one day last week, I was looking back through the folder I have on my laptop which contains all of my work for the book. It has pages of random notes, a spreadsheet containing the rough layout of the book's scenes, a detailed synopsis, random photos of my beat sheet and cake I posted on Twitter, first drafts, second drafts (all saved in different formats, depending on the computer I was using at the time) and another subfolder for my final drafts.

I decided to have a nosy at my original 'Ideas and Notes' file, just to see what I'd come up with and to see if I could work any of it into this blog post - and I was genuinely shocked.

Whenever I hear about other writers saying that their novel went on a 'journey' and it didn't end up how they imagined etc etc, there is always a part of me that is a tiny bit sceptical. 'But surely,' I cry, 'your book can't have been THAT much of a learning curve? You had the idea for it, surely it's still the same book??'

My god, have I been wrong.

You want to see a snippet of my original notes and ideas for Synthetica? Here it is:

(The original document is six pages long by the way, this isn't everything)

It's only looking back over these notes now, that I can fully appreciate how far my novel has come. I've even cringed slightly reading them back - in them, I can see snippets I've 'borrowed' from other YA books that I'd recently read, or themes in other YA books which I thought I had to have in mine in order for it to be a success. 

I am so grateful that my novel outgrew these notes, and turned into something totally different. I can remember having one conversation with the Engineer while we were out walking in the Lake District - I was telling him my ideas for this novel, and we were throwing around ideas of the rich buying programs they could download directly into their brains, and thinking what the less well-off citizens of the city think/do in this situation. What if the rich kept the programs from the poor? Why would they do this? What would the poor do to retaliate?

But even back then, when I got home and wrote up those notes from our walk, I wasn't really feeling it. I don't mind reading books about characters who overthrow oppressive regimes, but let's face it - it's been done to death in YA. I knew what I didn't want from my book - I only had to figure out what I did want.

I don't remember exactly where the idea for the Hacker came from, but I have a feeling it was while I was watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Wherever the idea came from, as soon as I thought about him, that's when I knew - my book wasn't going to be about an evil government, or a regime - Synthetica was going to be about the fight between Anais and the Hacker, and the consequences of both their actions. To me, having an actual villain in a novel or a film makes the whole story more...relatable. It's a strange concept, I know, but I'll be explaining more about my thoughts on this in an upcoming blog post.

Anyway, so that's a small snapshot into the inspiration that Synthetica came from. I guess it just goes to show that you can find inspiration from anywhere and everywhere, if you're willing to look for it.

Until next time! Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Feels like I'm doing...nothin' at all!

This weekend I planned to sit down and prepare a lot of my upcoming blog posts (both for Synthetica and for the A - Z blogging challenge), as well as maybe get cracking on the sequel to Synthetica and THEN, if I had time, outline a brand new WIP that I've been thinking a lot about lately.

So how much of my ever-growing to-do list did I get done over the weekend?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

And. It. Was. Bliss.

I've been pretty wound up over the past week and I don't know why - whether it's subconsciously been to do with work, or home or my writing, or maybe even good old dose of PMT - I genuinely can't tell you. All I can say is that by the time Friday rolled around, I could've cried with gratitude. I've learnt a lot about myself while writing Synthetica, and I knew that if I continued to feel stressed, I wouldn't get anything done this weekend at all. I'd just sit there and panic about everything I simply had to do, while not actually doing a thing about it.

So I took a break. I read. Literally, that's all I did. I finished Maggie Steifvater's The Dream Thieves in two days. I sat outside and read in the sun (because England finally appears to be getting round to spring). I read inside with a cup of tea. I watched Netflix. I read some more.

It was fantastic. I actually woke up this morning in a good mood! Which, for me, is basically unheard of for a Monday morning (let's just ignore the fact that it only lasted until I got into my car for work, and then the whole subconscious stress/PMT battle started again).

Not only do I feel more energised and ready to tackle my to-do list, I have to say, I was also extremely impressed with The Dream Thieves. I loved The Raven Boys, and I'm so glad I finally got round to ordering the second book in the series, which was just as good. But it wasn't just the story that I haven't been able to get out of my head today - this book has been the first book in a long long time, which made me sit down and think seriously about my own writing. The author has this way of completely and utterly drawing you into the character's world - I could almost hear the cicadas and feel the heat of a Henrietta summer. I was actually a tiny bit surprised when I looked up and found myself in England instead of Virginia.

Reading this book has forced me to stop and assess my own writing. Not in a bad way, but it's just made me realise that I want to write to the very best of my ability. All of the time. For every single book I write, or attempt to write. Not that I haven't been doing that so far, but now, I'm going to try and consciously think, is this the very VERY best I can make it?

I want people to do what I did. I want them to lose a whole weekend reading my book, because they can't bear to put it down. I want my novel to leave an impression on my readers. I want people to think about my book while they're at work, and wonder whether the order they placed for the next book in the series yesterday, could have possibly arrived today (it hasn't. But one can still hope).

So that's all my news! This week, I'm going to focus on working my way through my to-do list, but making sure I take time out if I need to. Let's hope the sun stays out!

Have a great week, everyone!

Music to my ears...

Today on my blog, I'm going to be talking about the music I used to help me write Synthetica.

Years ago when I first starting writing, I had to listen to music all the time in order to write. I thought I needed it for inspiration to strike, but here's the funny thing I found out while I was writing Synthetica - I don't always need music to write.

Don't get me wrong - about 80% of this novel was written while I had my headphones plugged in, but there was a time last summer while I was writing the first draft, that I didn't listen to any music at all. Why? Because, in all honesty, it distracted me. Last summer I had a job to do; I had three weeks to write the whole book. That meant that some days I was writing upwards of 7,000 words a day. And in the beginning, instead of getting those words down, I found myself constantly on iTunes, updating my playlists, going on YouTube to find new music to listen to - anything, in fact, other than actually writing.

So I stopped listening to music. And then, miraculously, the words began to stack up on the page. I managed to complete the first draft within my deadline, and not only was I thrilled (I had just written my FIRST BOOK, people!), I had also learnt that sometimes, silence is indeed golden.

I found it a lot easier to listen to music while I was redrafting my novel. Because I already had the initial gist of where the plot was going, I liked to listen to music for inspiration for a particular scene, or even just a fun beat that kept my fingers tapping on the keyboard.

And that's the other major lesson I learnt - all through my teenage years I listened to Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Blink 182, Fall Out Boy...you get the gist. And that was the music I listened to while I wrote too. That's not the type of music I listened to while writing Synthetica (with a couple of exceptions). Why? Well, I still like that type of music, but here's the thing - I promised myself when I started to write Synthetica, that I would have fun writing it. I knew that if I didn't have fun, I would never get it finished. And then I thought, why not shake things up, music wise as well? So instead of pigeon-holing myself into listening to one type of music, I decided to play anything I liked the sound of. Nowadays, I don't tend to stick to one genre of music (just like I don't really stick to one genre of books while I'm reading) and it really paid off. I have never had as much fun writing as I have writing Synthetica.

So, without further ado, here's my (current) writing playlist*:

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men
Wings by Little Mix
I Am Not A Robot by Marina and the Diamonds
Centuries by Fall Out Boy
Wake Me Up by Avicii
Hey Brother by Avicii
Let It Go by Idina Menzel (Don't judge me - this is an awesome song!)
Are You Satisfied? by Marina and the Diamonds
You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison by My Chemical Romance
If I Had A Heart by Fever Ray (thank you Vikings, for this one!)
The Hanging Tree from the Hunger Games soundtrack
Left Hand Free by alt-J
Radioactive by Imagine Dragons
Hollywood by Marina and the Diamonds
The Great and the Good by Max Raptor
Do You Hear The People Sing? from the Les Miserables soundtrack
Demons by Imagine Dragons
Solo Dancing by Indiana
Hideaway by Kiesza
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson
Take Me To Church by Hozier
I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons
Heaven Knows by The Pretty Reckless

Although I know that I'll probably change my writing playlist again for my new WIP, there are a couple of songs on there that I have no doubt will remain staples for the whole Synthetica series. There were a couple of songs that I listened to, and immediately thought of scenes for the second and third books in the trilogy, so I know I'll definitely be revisiting them while outlining those books!

So what do you think? Is this a pretty average playlist for a writer, or were there a few surprises? What do you like to listen to while writing?



*I've actually cut it down to the songs I listened to the most - my original playlist is over 2 hours long, and far far too many songs for me to list here...

IWSG March: One month to go...

Welcome to the Insecure Writer's Support Group! You can check out the official IWSG website here!

For this month's post, I'm going to rehash a worry I voiced earlier this week in this blog post.

Synthetica is due to be published on the 1st April, and I have A LOT of insecurities around it's release, but my biggest fear right now is that no one will read it.

I'm just so worried that Synthetica will just get lost in amongst the hundreds of other e-books that are released every day, no matter how much promoting I do. What if all my promotion falls on deaf ears?? What if no one wants to read a book by a self published author?? What do I do then??

This fear really does make me feel sick. I've never done anything like this before, so I have nothing to compare it to, or to gauge how well my book promo is going. I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I'm doing as much self-promo as I can, but what if it's not enough? Do I just keep writing anyway, and hope for the best?

I guess I'll find out soon enough whether or not my book is going to flop. I'll just have to deal with it when it happens.

Have a great month, everyone!

A little taster...

So with Synthetica being released in less than a month, and this being my first promo post, I thought I'd give you a little sneak peek of what you can expect from the book.

Synthetica, for those of you who are new to this blog, is my debut YA sci-fi novel. You can read the blurb here, but in a nutshell, it's about seventeen-year-old Anais Finch, who becomes tangled up in a murder plot by a sociopathic killer, who doesn't care who he hurts on his path of destruction. Anais is rapidly running into danger and out of time, but can she find the killer before it's too late?

Sound good? Excellent. Now that that's whet your appetite (I hope), read on for an exclusive excerpt from Synthetica!

To celebrate the release of Synthetica, I've decided to post the prologue below for you all to read. I would do it on a PDF, but I never did get the hang on posting a PDF onto the internet...so until I figure that out, enjoy the excerpt below:

"The green light flashed. Finally, the program was online.

He paused, staring at the computer screen, hardly daring to believe it. The computer was an antique from the 21st Century, but using such old technology had its advantages. For one, it meant that its software didn't register on modern computer models, making it laughably easy to hack into any new system. These people truly were arrogant if they believed themselves to be untouchable.

Well, he was just about to prove to them just how wrong they were.

He skimmed the text with an expert eye, registering certain details as they leapt out at him. ID number, name, age, job title, where they lived, even what they ate last week. His laugh was muffled by the black mask strapped across the lower half of his face. This was almost too easy. It was almost as if they wanted to die.

His fingers flew over the keyboard as he typed in commands, the computer whining as he pushed it to its maximum capacity. He pressed the 'Enter' key without pausing.

Whilst he waited for confirmation that his command had been sent, his grey eyes wandered over to the small box of picochips on the desk; their silver and bronze whorls twinkling in the half light. If this test worked...these tiny wonders he created were about to change the world.

Ten years. Ten years he'd been waiting for this moment. Waiting for them to mess up. Waiting for them to create something he could manipulate to his own ends. And finally, it was here. All of his waiting and planning would finally pay off.

The computer beeped, telling him that his command had been accepted by the host. Behind his mask he smiled a cold, cruel smile.

Time to see what Mr Smithson was capable of. He wondered, just for the briefest of seconds, if Mr Smithson had any objection to becoming a murderer. Not that it mattered if he did – he'd be dead in a few hours anyway."

So that's it for now! Hope you enjoyed the excerpt! If you did, don't forget to check back all throughout March for more teasers and more information on Synthetica!

ONE MONTH TO GO! WE CAN DO THIS!

One month to go...

It's nearly here!!

In exactly one month, Synthetica will be published on Amazon!

I still can't believe it. I feel a bit like I did when I announced rather suddenly to my family that I was going to teach English in China for six months. I didn't truly believe I was doing it until I was actually on the plane. I don't think they really believed it either...

It's been a long, long road to self publishing my book, but I've learnt so many things and I wouldn't change it for the world. I never thought this time a year ago, that I'd be gearing up to the release of my first book. It's always been some kind of shiny, far-off dream - something for me to daydream about, but not to actually do.

It's a scary feeling to think that, soon, people will be able to read words that I've actually written. If I'm completely honest, my self-doubt is going into overdrive right now - what if my novel is actually a big pile of crap? What if this is all a huge mistake? What if everyone hates my cover and won't buy my book because of it? What no one likes my book?? What if no one reads it?!

This last point is the one I'm most worried about. I'm so worried that Synthetica will just get lost in amongst the thousands of other ebooks out there, no matter how much promoting I do. It's doing my head in. Sometimes, I really wish my mind had a 'mute' button. I know I'm being neurotic, and that every writer (apparently - I wouldn't personally know, being a newbie at all this) goes through phases of self-doubt, but as I'm self-publishing, I'm already well aware I'm at a disadvantage. I simply don't have the money to throw at large marketing campaigns - I just have little old me, and this blog. And Twitter. And Goodreads.

Okay, so it's not like I'm completely empty-handed, but it's still a terrifying process.

But I'm not going to let it get me down. I've simply got to think of it as a 'challenge' ;).

But just in case, if there's anyone out there who'd be willing to review Synthetica - please just let me know! If you're interested, feel free to leave a comment, or drop me a line at rachelsramblingsblog[@]gmail.com - and I'd be happy to send you a copy to review.

And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that's straight up begging, but hey ho, that's the way it goes ;).

Have a great Sunday, everyone!