So it's the eve of the A to Z Challenge 2016, and normally (well, based on what happened last year) I'd be writing my last few posts, double checking everything is scheduled correctly and just generally getting excited for the coming month.
But I'm not.
I know during my theme reveal that I said that I had 1001 things to do in April, but that I was planning on completing the challenge anyway because I absolutely loved taking part last year. My enthusiasm and passion for this challenge hasn't changed, but over the past few days I've had to come to a very diffcult decision. I have decided that I won't be taking part in the A to Z Challenge this year.
It breaks my heart to write it - I feel like I'm letting my fellow bloggers down, I'm letting my readers down, but most of all, I'm letting myself down. I so so badly wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I wanted to show myself that actually, I was capable of juggling 100 different things while also completing the challenge, but the fact is, I've come to know myself a lot better over the past few years and I know deep down, I wouldn't have been able to do everything that needs to be done this month - something would have to give. And although it's unfortunate, I've decided that the challenge is the thing that has to go.
In brief: life sometimes just gets in the way of the things we really want to do. But I'm willing to sacrifice my blogging and my writing for a little while because of all the other exciting things that are happening right now i.e....
I'm getting married in July, and I have things to organise for the wedding that I can no longer put off; my and my fiance are currently in the process of moving up to Cumbria - which is incredibly exciting and I can't wait - but equally, that means that we have to sort out our house in Norfolk, we need to find somewhere to live in Cumbria because my parents don't want us to live with them forever (understandably) and, in turn, that means that I need to find a job ASAP. The Engineer has already found a job, which is fantastic, but that also means that now everything is starting to feel very real - I can no longer just dream about moving back up to Cumbria, because we're actually doing it - and that means that the most important thing on my ever-growing to-do list right now is to find a job.
So for the rest of the holidays, that's going to be my absolute priority - job hunting and booking all the last minute things for the wedding that need to be done. Am I sad that I'm giving up the challenge? Well, yes, but equally no - because I've finally admitted my choice to myself, I actually feel a lot better than I have been the last few days. I no longer feel quite such a crushing weight of pressure to get everything done by tomorrow, and that's such a huge relief.
I'll still be around, and I'll definitely be keeping up with the A to Z Challenge on other blogs - who knows, maybe later in the year I'll do my own little challenge and pop up all the posts I was going to do in April, so you guys can still read them :). But for now, I'm getting my head down and facing up to my responsibilites (for once).
So best of luck to everyone who's taking part in the challenge tomorrow - I hope you all have a fantastic time and, even though I won't be posting, I'll be right here cheering you all on from the sidelines :).
Are you taking part in the A to Z Challenge this year? Have you ever had to pull out/stop your hobby to do other things? How did you feel about it?