The Waiting Game...

I feel like today has been a good day.

The sun is still shining (unusual for Cumbria), I got bits and pieces of wedding prep done (mother bear would probably disagree, but hey, at least I feel like I've made an effort!) and I had my interview for a new job.

I won't go into specifics of the interview because I'm absolutely terrified I'm going to jinx it, but I'd like to say it went well - hopefully I can let you know more either at the end of this week, or sometime next week, once I hear back from them. That's the hard part now; I've been preparing for this interview for three weeks, and now once again I'm stuck in the agonising waiting game. I feel like I've been waiting forever for the past few weeks to hurry up, and yet, now it seems like it's over in a blur - but I'm sure the next few days/week will feel slow now too.

I'm not getting my hopes up, though. Not because I don't want the job (I can't tell you how badly I want it - it sounds amazing), but because I'm more cautious about getting my hopes up this time around. I'm planning a blog post about the last interview I had, and how I felt after I got rejected from that job, but suffice to say, I'm definitely erring on the side of caution this time around just in case. I'd hate to get all my hopes up, just to have them dashed again.

But I've definitely learnt a lot from the last interview I had - I was more confident giving my presentation this time around, and because I told myself before the interview I wasn't going to get the job, I felt a lot calmer and less pressured - hopefully that came across in my interview answers.  I know it probably sounds strange to tell yourself that you won't succeed before you even get into the interview, but to me, this technique works. I don't get all wound up and anxious; instead I think to myself, 'oh well, I'll just do the very best I can and see what happens'. And this way, I know that even if I don't get the job, then at the very least I've gained more valuable experience that I can put into practice at my next interview.

Do you have a technique to help you cope during interviews? Are you playing the waiting game at the moment for anything?

IWSG June: The Guilt Trip

Morning everyone! It's that time of the month again where writers from across the blogosphere get together to share their fears and encourage one another - if you'd like to find out more about the Insecure Writer's Support Group, you can check out their official website here.

As you're probably all aware, recently I moved back to Cumbria with the Engineer, and since then, I feel like I haven't really stopped. From helping my dad milk the cows every morning and most nights, to working in the cafe most days, then doing various wedding bits and bobs in my spare time (both for my wedding and the several others I'm attending this year), having my hen party this weekend (so good, but so so tired now), entertaining my friend that came to visit me from London, preparing for a job interview next week and just generally trying to sort my life out now that I've moved...you can guess where I'm going with this. I've barely had time to stop and catch my breath, let alone write.

I feel guilty for not having the time to write - I know that when I normally say that, generally I mean that I DO have the time to write, I just couldn't be bothered. But this month, time just seems to be slipping away from me. Plus, now that I live with my parents, I feel kinda awkward sitting at the laptop all day. I love my parents, but they are definitely the kind of people who, when they see you're sitting at a computer, will stop and ask, 'oh, what are you up to?' or (more likely in my parent's case) say, 'Great, you're not doing anything - can you come and help with X,Y and Z?' - which makes me feel like I can't just sit and write, even if I did have the time.

On the plus side though, my characters are popping back into my head more and more. Even though I can't sit and get the words out onto the page, I love thinking about my characters and my story and generally just musing over what I'll write next, when I do get the chance. So it's nice to know that my characters haven't completely abandoned me, even if I do feel guilty for not writing about them more often!

Do you feel guilty for not writing, even though you have a valid reason not to? Do you feel awkward writing in front of other people? How's your writing going this month?

Guest post by Misha Gerrick: My Favorite Writing Quote

Today, I'm honoured to have the lovely Misha Gerrick on my blog talking about her favourite writing quote, as part of her tour for her new book, 'Endless' - what better for a little Tuesday inspiration for us all? Take it away, Misha!

My Favorite Writing Quote

I think that all writers have the same insecurity deep down. That niggling thought that says that we really shouldn’t be writing. The idea that in reality, we suck at it. That we’re deluding ourselves and we should be giving up.

Personally, I’m almost constantly battling against this little voice in the back of my head that says ‘you can’t write.’ Sometimes, the voice becomes as loud as a hurricane if I let it. But I have one thing I try to do every day in order to keep it under control.

And it comes from my favorite writing quote, which, ironically, isn’t actually about writing.

If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced - Vincent van Gogh

I’ve always thought of writing as painting with words, so for me, the quote totally works. It also goes to show that not only writers are hampered by that stupid little voice.

But it is an inspirational quote and instruction for being a writer rolled up in one.

Doubting that you can write today? Then write and prove yourself wrong. No one says you have to be good at writing. You just need to get a few words down for now. And then a few more tomorrow. Every word you write is proof that the voice in your head is a liar. You CAN write. And if you do it long enough, you’ll discover that you’re actually getting better at it.

What’s your favorite writing quote? Care to share a bit of encouragement with other writers? 

Endless - Misha Gerrick

“First, do no harm.” Blake Ryan swore that oath to become a doctor. Ironic, given that he spent most of his thousand year life sucking souls out of other immortals.

Things are different now. Using regular shots of morphine to keep his inner monster at bay, Ryan has led a quiet life since the Second World War. His thrills now come from saving lives, not taking them.

Until a plane crash brings Aleria into his hospital. Her life is vibrant. Crack to predators like him. She’s the exact sort of person they would hunt, and thanks to a severe case of amnesia, she’s all but defenseless.

Leaving Aleria vulnerable isn’t an option, but protecting her means unleashing his own inner monster. Which is a problem, because his inner monster wants her dead most of all.

Amazon US | Amazon Universal | Apple | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Goodreads

About the Author

Misha Gerrick lives near Cape Town, South Africa, and can usually be found staring at her surroundings while figuring out her next book.

If you’d like to see what Misha’s up to at the moment, you can find her on these social networks:

Tumblr | Twitter | Google Plus | Writing Blog

The Full Moon Cinema and I

You may be aware that I moved back to Cumbria a couple of weeks ago - I'd be surprised if you didn't seeing as how I go on about about it at every opportunity! 

On one of my last visits up here before I moved back permanently, I saw a sign outside the village hall saying, 'FILM SHOWING ON SUNDAY: PAUL. 7.30PM.' I went home and asked my mum about it, and she told me that once a month the village hall runs a film night - you pay £5 for a ticket, and you can take in whatever snacks and drinks you like. This immediately piqued my interest - being a huge film lover, I knew that I had to go at some stage. Plus, I haven't been inside the new village hall since it was rebuilt a few years ago, and I was desperate for a nosy round. However, having seen 'Paul' before, I wasn't too keen to repeat the experience.

This month - a mere week after I moved back - posters and signs for this month's showing appeared around the village and it was for one of my favourite films of all time, 'Django Unchained'.

I immediately told The Engineer that he wasn't allowed to have any plans for Sunday 22nd May as we were going to the village hall for a film night. He went along with me, and last night at 7.15pm we walked down to the village hall. It was great walking to the cinema without having to pay for petrol or parking.

When we got there, I had a chat with the lady on the door who's lived in the village since before I was born; that's what I missed in Norfolk, up here, everyone stops to chat to you. After paying our £10, we went into the hall and I was pleasantly surprised. I was expecting a screen about the size you might see in a  classroom - big enough, but not massive. The projector screen they had was huge.  It practically blocked off one end of the hall! And they'd set out three tables with tablecloths and candles for you to sit at if you wanted to, which was a nice touch, as well as a row of chairs behind. 

There was a total of seven of us there. The people who run it told me during the interval (yeah that's right, we had an interval where we could go and make ourselves a cup of tea and have a biscuit - amazing!!) that the've had up to 30 people before, but since light nights/summer began, less and less people have been showing up. It costs them about £120 to run - you don't have to be good at maths to figure out they were definitely making a loss last night.

I've decided that I'm going to go along and support the film night every month if I can. To me, it just seems like such a great idea to get the community together, and it would be shame if they had to close it down due to lack of numbers. Next month's showing will be 'Birdman' - once again, a film that I've seen but didn't particularly enjoy. However, I'll be going along anyway with my bag of Maltesers and my pick 'n' mix to show my support; I've already informed my parents that they'll be coming with me.

Oh, and the 'Full Moon Cinema' name? Turns out they called it that because they have the film nights once a month when there's a full moon. I thought that was a brilliant idea. And sure enough, when The Engineer and I walked back home at 10.45pm, I looked up into the clear sky and there was a bright full moon hanging there. It was magical.

If you live in England and you want to find out more about these community run film nights, you can check out the Cine North website here - I'm sure there are others run up and down the country, but my local one is run by Cine North.

Have you ever been to/heard of community run cinemas? What did you think? Would you go to one if your local hall/community centre put one on?

Sunny Cumbria and Feelin' Happy...

Happy Friday, everyone!

It's hard to believe that this time last week it was my last day at work. This week has absolutely flown by, but I've loved every minute of it. Last Saturday, I drove back home to Cumbria with a car full of clothes and I officially moved back in with my parents. All this week I've been helping dad on the farm (there's not much to do now that we only have five cows to milk and we let all the stirks – teenage calves – out in the fields on Wednesday, so there's only seven calves to feed now too), writing out and sending my wedding invitations, applying for jobs and generally helping out my parents. It's been bliss.

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm finally home after eight years away, or the unseasonably good weather, or the beauty of the Lakes or the fact that I'm back with my family, but I just feel so...happy.

Who wouldn't feel happy waking up to this every day?

It's like a balm has been applied to my soul – I can feel something deep inside me healing, something that I didn't know needed to be healed until now. I feel like, for once, I'm exactly where I should be at this moment in time.

Bringing in our small herd for milking

Every time I wake up in the morning, I'm filled with a sense of wonder and excitement and gratitude (the gratitude is for my parents for letting me and the Engineer stay with them for a while until we find our feet – thank you mother bear and father bear!). Every time I go for the cows, or check the stock, or walk the dog, I look around in amazement – I found myself simply staring at the fells this morning when I went to check on the cows – it's almost as if I'm trying to drink in as much as possible, like I'm afraid one day I'll wake up the fells and lakes won't be there anymore (which is understandable, seeing as how I've lived away from home for the past eight years).

The stirks we let out in the fields this week

Like I said, this week I've managed to send out all my wedding invitations, which feels like a good job done, and I've managed to pick up a couple of shifts in the local cafe, which means I don't have to worry quite so much about money. I may not have found a full time job yet – but far from the crippling anxiety and fear I was feeling in Norfolk over this prospect, now I feel much calmer – what will be, will be, and I know something will come along eventually. In fact, I was just reflecting on this as I walked Bess around the village this morning; when I came back I got the post from the post box, and there was a letter inviting me for an interview for a job I applied for last week. So you see, the power of positive thinking :).

Also spending my time looking after this little menace!

The parents are away this weekend in London, so it's up to me to look after the farm while they're gone. Hopefully the good weather will last, so me and The Engineer can do some exploring when we're not milking!

Have a great weekend, folks!

Have you ever felt like things are gradually falling into place, or that you're exactly where you should be in life? Have you ever been to the Lakes? How's the weather with you?