Wednesday, 4 May 2016

May IWSG: Wading through treacle...

I'm such a ditz. I've been lying on my bed since 6pm this evening, bored out of my mind - five minutes ago I just happened to be scrolling through Twitter on my phone when I saw someone's link to their IWSG post for this month. I can't believe that I forgot about it AGAIN - not only that, but I could've been crafting an amazing post all night (yeah, right), but instead, you're going to have to make do with this thrown together one. Sorry folks.




I'm actually glad that today is an IWSG post day, as the next blog post I was planning to write about was all to do with insecurity/fear - not to do with my writing, but in other areas of my life. I won't go into detail here, as I'm well aware the last IWSG post I did veered away from writing too, and I don't want to deviate from the the rules again. But at least today's post has got me up from out of bed and actually sitting down at the computer and writing - something I've been sorely lacking lately.

My insecurity this month does indeed stem from my lack of writing. I can't decide if I'm procrastinating in every way possible, or if it's just apathy. I'm kinda hoping it's the former. If I'm completely honest with myself, I've had such a long break from doing any serious writing, I can't justify it to myself anymore. I need to get back into the swing of it. But every time I think to myself that I'll sit down and write, it feels like I'm wading through treacle (both physically and mentally).

Here in England, we've just had a three day weekend to celebrate May Day. Oh, the luxury of having an entire extra day off work! When I woke up on Saturday morning, the weekend seemed to stretch out endlessly, full of exciting possibilities. And for the first time in months, I actually felt like writing. I even had an idea for the sequel to Synthetica, something which has been a long time coming.

But did I do it? No. Of course I didn't - because I managed to convince myself that other things were more important (actually, in all fairness, I do need a new job ASAP as I finish work for good on Friday, but apart from that, everything else could probably have waited). Housework, eating, playing the sims, more eating...all so much more important than writing - something I'm desperate to make a career out of.

I need to get out of this mindset. Like I said, there's no logical reason for me to put it off for so long. Yes, I am moving house and have a wedding to plan for July, but even so, if I really wanted to, I could write at least 100 words a night. But instead, I've spent the past two weeks watching Netflix and looking up funny cat videos on my phone (I wish I was joking, but I'm really not). And now, because my life just isn't complete without bouts of crippling anxiety and self-doubt, there's a part of my brain that feels like it's somehow too late to start blogging/writing again now - which is utterly ridiculous.

I'll admit it - I need your help, guys. I need someone to tell me to get my shit together and stop whinging and just do it. After all, the only thing that's holding me back is myself. Please send help...and cake if you have any ;)

How do you get back into writing after taking a long break? What are your insecurities this month?

16 comments:

  1. Okay, you asked for it! JUST DO IT! LOL
    I'm actually taking a break from blogging, tomorrow it starts. Because I need to get back to writing. I have three projects tugging at me. Two are WIP's and I really need to concentrate on finishing them. So my suggestion to you is. Start asking questions. What is your next project, where are you in the plot. Once you have that in your brain start asking the questions that will get you to your next step. Talk to you characters, they're tired of being ignored. I know mine are!
    Besides all that, I wish you all the best with the move and finding a job!
    May the Force be with you! :)

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    1. Thank you, Yolanda!! That's the kind of talk I needed to hear!! Thank you so much for your advice and best of luck with all your writing projects :)!

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  2. Sometimes you have to be hard on yourself to get those words! I find what helps is logging myself out of netflix (I don't have a functioning TV so that's not a distraction) and YouTube! The minute I stop absorbing content I find I can write and love doing it :) and the minute I let myself write more and more ideas come along begging to be written :D

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    1. I totally need to cut myself off from Netflix - I'm hoping once I move I'll find it easier not to spend all night watching it. I find that too! One idea snowballs into another and I love it :)

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  3. I like your idea of just being able to write 100 words a night. It's probably something I should try, too, since I've gone so long without really writing and need to figure out how to get back in the swing of things.

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    1. I think this is something I'm going to try - I've never set myself a proper daily writing goal before, but I think II'm going to give it a go and see what happens.

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  4. I've never taken a long break from writing. There are always other things I could be doing but I make myself sit down and write. I hope you find that muse hiding about somewhere and good luck on the job hunt.

    Susan Says

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    1. That's great, Susan! I need to be more like you! I'm on a mission to find my muse again over the next few days :)

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  5. That's one of the hardest things to do is getting back into the swing of writing after a long break. The trick is to schedule a time to write, and just write. Don't expect gold to drip from your pages, but write anyway. The more often you do, the less it feels like wading through treacle.

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    1. Thank you, Lynda! If I manage to stick to my 100 words a day rule, I hope I'll get back into the swing of it quicker :)

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  6. I took a bit of a break from blogging and online activities to give me the time and head-space to focus on finishing my ms. It worked for me but I have suffered the same insecurities about getting back into blogging, same days it all just seems too much to think about to be honest! I suggest taking it slowly, it sounds like there is loads going on in your non-writing life and that is probably your priority at the moment. But I know you can do it Rachel, we are all rooting for you. Good luck with the job hunt.

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    1. Thank you so much, Suzanne :). I'm going to do everything I can to get back into writing again :)

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  7. I think you are ready to get back to writing. However, I feel like a fake telling you that because I'm not writing either. At least you have a lot going on in your life. Finding a new job is very stressful. Honestly, I think you are ready to get back, but I guess you want to start after the move and all that . . . Because once you start, you don't want to stop. Good-luck, Rachel.

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    1. That's so true - part of me thinks I should be making the most of my time now and writing, but equally, I kinda want to put it off til after the move...but that could just be me procrastinating again! Good luck getting back into your own writing :)! Thank you for stopping by Murees :)

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  8. A simple but excellent tip (given to me by an IWSG member) is to open the file and read what you've written. A great way to get yourself back into the story. Best wishes.

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    1. Great advice, Diane! Thanks for sharing!

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