I'm sorry I missed last month's posting, but I'll make up for it this month :).
So I've just got back into writing after a rather hefty break (thank you coursework...) and I was rather enjoying myself....until yesterday....
On Monday I spent the whole day writing, and although I didn't get quite get everything done that I wanted to, I thought I'd made a pretty good start considering I had to re-write my second chapter from scratch. Although I'm pretty pleased with my opening chapter at the moment, whenever I look at my second chapter I think 'hmm, yeah, well it's ok....'.
Yesterday I met up with the Writing Buddy and we sat in a cafe and wrote/gossiped/drank tea for a majority of the day. I let her read my work and although she said it was good, I got this horrible cringey feeling in my stomach and I didn't want her to read any more....I don't know why I was so embarrassed by it - I know it's far from finished, but normally I don't mind when she reads my unfinished work....
I don’t know what it is, but right now I'm suffering from a major case of insecurity. I'm constantly asking myself is my work is good enough? Will anyone ever want to publish it? Will anyone ever want to read it if I self-publish it? Is this novel really worth all this effort? Should I just give up right now and devote my life to something else?
I guess I just don't feel like my work is good enough right now and to make matters worse, I've been thinking of a lot of other story ideas and have been so so tempted to start them instead...but I know that the pattern will just keep repeating itself of starting a book, getting nervous and then never finishing it. I read a blog post once were they referred to this as a 'slutty new idea' and I laughed out loud because, unfortunately, it's so true. The new idea will come along and start whispering seductively in your ear about how great it is, and how you should abandon what you're doing and start writing it right now....and then it buggers off halfway through and another one takes its place.
Anyway, despite what I've said above, I'm determined not to be defeated this time. Which is why I taking off today, sitting in the cafe again and writing til I can write no more! This book IS worth it!
So that's all from me! Looking forward to seeing everyone else's neurotic blog posts for the first time :), and of course I shall try and offer any consolation/tea/hugs that I can :).
Have a great day everyone!