I'm sorry I missed last month's posting, but I'll make up for it
this month :).
So I've just got back into writing after a rather hefty break
(thank you coursework...) and I was rather enjoying myself....until yesterday....
On Monday I spent the whole day writing, and although I didn't get
quite get everything done that I wanted to, I thought I'd made a pretty good
start considering I had to re-write my second chapter from scratch. Although
I'm pretty pleased with my opening chapter at the moment, whenever I look at my
second chapter I think 'hmm, yeah, well it's ok....'.
Yesterday I met up with the Writing Buddy and we sat in a cafe and
wrote/gossiped/drank tea for a majority of the day. I let her read my work and
although she said it was good, I got this horrible cringey feeling in my
stomach and I didn't want her to read any more....I don't know why I was
so embarrassed by it - I know it's far from finished, but normally I
don't mind when she reads my unfinished work....
I don’t know what it is, but right now I'm suffering from a major
case of insecurity. I'm constantly asking myself is my work is good enough?
Will anyone ever want to publish it? Will anyone ever want to read it if I
self-publish it? Is this novel really worth all this effort? Should I just give
up right now and devote my life to something else?
I guess I just don't feel like my work is good enough right now
and to make matters worse, I've been thinking of a lot of other story ideas and
have been so so tempted to start them instead...but I know that the pattern
will just keep repeating itself of starting a book, getting nervous and then
never finishing it. I read a blog post once were they referred to this as a
'slutty new idea' and I laughed out loud because, unfortunately, it's so true.
The new idea will come along and start whispering seductively in your ear about
how great it is, and how you should abandon what you're doing and start writing
it right now....and then
it buggers off halfway through and another one takes its place.
Anyway, despite what I've said above, I'm determined not to be
defeated this time. Which is why I taking off today, sitting in the cafe again
and writing til I can write no more! This book IS worth it!
So that's all from me! Looking forward to seeing everyone else's
neurotic blog posts for the first time :), and of course I shall try and offer
any consolation/tea/hugs that I can :).
Have a great day everyone!
X
I can completely relate to this! I wrote in my introductory blog that I was starting a new project that I was really excited about. This was March 23rd. I'm already out of steam and I want to start writing something else but this has happened far too many times now!
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying your blog by the way!
Sometimes you just have to push passed those feelings. What you are writing is a first draft - not the masterpiece. The first draft is often filled with 'undesirables', but the key is to get the story down. Then, when you get to chapter twenty-five, you go back and slash and burn the not-so-great in chapter two. Hope that helps.
ReplyDeleteGwynneth
http://todayinshenaya.blogspot.com
Ugh. I SO know how this goes. AND IT SUCKS!!! I go through these phases when I kind of want to flush my story down the toilet--lap top and all--just because I think IT SUCKS SO BAD!!
ReplyDeleteUsually after a little while, the I-hate-my-story-so-bad-I-want-to-puke-on-it feeling passes and I end up realizing that DUH! Its not so bad after all! I think we just pop in and out of the low spots as writers, and the important thing is to just keep pushing through it all.
Keep truckin' through it, girly!!!