As you're probably all aware, recently I moved back to Cumbria with the Engineer, and since then, I feel like I haven't really stopped. From helping my dad milk the cows every morning and most nights, to working in the cafe most days, then doing various wedding bits and bobs in my spare time (both for my wedding and the several others I'm attending this year), having my hen party this weekend (so good, but so so tired now), entertaining my friend that came to visit me from London, preparing for a job interview next week and just generally trying to sort my life out now that I've moved...you can guess where I'm going with this. I've barely had time to stop and catch my breath, let alone write.
I feel guilty for not having the time to write - I know that when I normally say that, generally I mean that I DO have the time to write, I just couldn't be bothered. But this month, time just seems to be slipping away from me. Plus, now that I live with my parents, I feel kinda awkward sitting at the laptop all day. I love my parents, but they are definitely the kind of people who, when they see you're sitting at a computer, will stop and ask, 'oh, what are you up to?' or (more likely in my parent's case) say, 'Great, you're not doing anything - can you come and help with X,Y and Z?' - which makes me feel like I can't just sit and write, even if I did have the time.
On the plus side though, my characters are popping back into my head more and more. Even though I can't sit and get the words out onto the page, I love thinking about my characters and my story and generally just musing over what I'll write next, when I do get the chance. So it's nice to know that my characters haven't completely abandoned me, even if I do feel guilty for not writing about them more often!
Do you feel guilty for not writing, even though you have a valid reason not to? Do you feel awkward writing in front of other people? How's your writing going this month?
Aren't parents just adorable that way! :) Bless. Glad things are working out well for you, Rachel, and I hope you get some undisturbed writing time soon. Have a super week.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Adorable is one way to describe them ;)! Thank you, Nicola!
DeleteOh, I understand. My mom also assumes because I sit at my laptop I'n not doing anything. Also, I've never been able to write with people around me. I need to feel a bit isolated to write. I can edit with people around me, but not write. Don't feel guilty. You are super busy. That tends to happen. At least you have plans to get back to writing once things calm down and not giving up on writing all together, which is good news. I hope your hen party will be lots of fun. Hang in there. Don't worry, the chaos will pass and then your writing will still be there. Wishing you well.
ReplyDeleteIt's the worst isn't it! I feel funny writing around people too, even the Engineer. Thank you for your kind words, Murees :)
DeleteWhere's your digital recorder, eh? There are alternatives to writing when it's impossible, schedule wise. It's the mental realty I worry about. If I can't find the sanity to even think about the stories, then I'm in trouble.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea! I have used the recorder on my phone in the past, so I could use it again. Ah no, we all need to be a good place mentally before we write, I think :).
ReplyDeleteI feel horrible when I'm not writing. I feel guilty if I'm writing. I feel resentful if I have to stop to make supper or sit with my hubby while he watches the news with his head in a book. LOL. Life is meant to be full of contrast, Rachel. That's what makes it so fun and frustrating at the same time. I was going to suggest free writing, but I know how hard that is when a keyboard and delete button is only a few feet away.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I'm exactly the same, Joylene! You're so right, I know one day I'll look back at this time and smile :).
DeleteLife gets in the way a lot. I haven't had time to write for most of May, either.
ReplyDeleteIf only we could hit the pause button!
DeleteI'm glad that your characters are still talking to you it means that you will have loads to write about when you do get the chance. I know that feeling of frustration and yes guilt when I can't write, but the time will come I'm sure. Glad to hear that other things are going well and preparations for the wedding... that must be so exciting.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Suzanne! I think right now I do need to focus on my wedding, but so long as my characters keep talking to me in my head, I'll be fine ;)
DeleteI feel guilty when I'm not writing. Last month was better than the month before. Here's hoping June will be great.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope both of us can get back into a routine of writing soon, Diane!
DeleteIf you're planning your wedding and doing all that, I can see why you're busy. No worries - remember, it's only temporary.
ReplyDeleteThat's true - I guess I just need to enjoy the time I have now, and get back to writing when I can :). Thanks for stopping by, Alex!
DeleteYeah, I feel guilty, but these times are necessary and unavoidable. Plus, it sounds like your stories are working in your head, which is just as important as writing them. So much is going on for you--enjoy and have fun with the wedding!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tonja!
DeleteI always regret not writing, but there are just so many hours in the day and other more pressing projects sometimes come first. I can't write in front of people! Eek! LOL! Good luck with your wedding plans and enjoy life!
ReplyDeleteIf only we all had time turners! I can't write in front of people either! Thank you, Lexa :)
DeleteIt's interesting that you mention feeling guilty about writing. I spend my entire day on my laptop but that's what I'm paid to do. And yet I STILL feel bad when we have company visiting on a work day or when we're visiting family and I'm trying to get work in. I think people still feel like "work" is done in an office...but even if you aren't making money as a writer yet, the work you're putting in WILL be money someday...so why do we feel guilty about it?
ReplyDeleteIt's so true Stephanie - I feel so bad when I write, even though like you said, the work I put in will hopefully pay off some day...it helps if I go out to write, I must admit!
DeleteYou've got a lot going on with the new job, wedding and move - it's OK to need a bit of time to find your feet. It's good that your characters are still talking to you! Surely your parents might understand that writing is important to you though? Mine are good about it - I know they read my blog, although they don't comment! I understand what you mean about needing time alone though - I can't concentrate with people pottering around, which is why I get up at the crack of dawn to write.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nick! I don't think my parents quite understand, although they do keep asking me when my next book will be out! I get up early now when my fiancé goes to work and I'm going to be using that time to write I hope :)
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