How much is too much...?

Happy New Year, everyone :)!

I know I'm probably a tad late in saying that, but hey, better late than never ;).

I've actually been taking a break from the Internet for a while - to be completely honest, I haven't been in a good place lately and being online has only made things worse, which is why I didn't post for IWSG last week. But this weekend has been the first weekend that I feel ready to face the world again, so it's all good :). One day, I'll write a super long post and bore you all to death with my issues, but for now, I'm back and ready to write!

Anyway, so I had a nice, relaxing break over the Christmas holidays and I barely thought about my book at all - but one day last week, a new idea struck me for my novel. I've been idly wondering for a while if there was any way I could rewrite the beginning of my novel, but tbh, I was pretty happy the way it was and unless inspiration struck, I was happy to keep it as it is.

But then inspiration did strike. And immediately I scribbled down the initial idea, and then I was off - writing down all the possible implications of this new beginning for my novel; would the middle still work? How would it change the overall character? Would it change her relationship with the other characters in the story?

I haven't started writing it yet, but I'm planning to work on it this week and see where it takes me. I love the feeling of once again being super excited about my work, but it also got me thinking....how much rewriting, is too much rewriting? How do you know when to stop? I know that if I rewrite my beginning and don't like it, I can always take it out and put my old one back in - but what if I think of another different way to write it? And then another way? How do you know when to stop?? Is there a writerly sixth sense that simply tells you when you're done - that moment when you write the last word, sit back and think, this is it? Or do writers forever critique their work, and will never be fully happy with it?

As a newcomer to all of this, I'm simply curious to know what other writers do! I know authors could probably spend forever tweaking words here and there, but I'm talking about when you come up with new ideas for your novel - you think you've finished and it's the best it can possibly be, then BAM! Suddenly a new scene, a new chapter or even a new character bursts into your head. What do you do? Do you ignore it? Or do you try it out?

I'd love to hear your thoughts :)!

All the best for the new year, everyone! Let's make it a good one!

Rewriting, rewriting, rewriting...

So since it's a Sunday night and I'm sleepy and all I want to do is curl up with my book in bed, I've decided just to do a short post while I remember.

Following on from my IWSG post on Weds, I stumbled across this post by Nova Ren Suma, and it could not explain more accurately how I feel about my writing right now. All I've been dreaming of the last few weeks is having a glorious block of time where I can blissfully write - no job to worry about, no chores to do, the house would somehow miraculously cleans itself, and I'd magically have the inspiration necessary to power on through my rewrites.

Unfortunately, the lesson that this novel seems to be teaching me at the minute is that I can dream all I want - but this book is never going to get written without me actually, y'know, writing.

It's hard. It's so hard trying to juggle this little thing called life with writing a novel, but ultimately I believe it's worth it. If I didn't, I wouldn't be blogging right now. I wouldn't have spent my Sunday afternoon rewriting a single scene. I wouldn't spend my car journeys to work thinking up pieces of dialogues between my characters. I wouldn't be scribbling almost illegible notes while I'm half asleep in bed, because it appears inspiration likes to come along and knock REALLY LOUDLY when you're on the verge of sleep.

The piece of advice I'm going to take away from Nova's post for this month is the idea of momentum. I'm still going to try and finish my rewrites during November and this week, I'm going to be trying out a couple of new things that I hope will mean less distractions and more writing i.e. not coming home straight after work, listening to music (but not having a huge playlist that means I spend more time changing the song than I do writing), keeping my novel open on my laptop. But most of all, no matter how many, or how few, words I write, I will try to write every day. Because the only way I am going to get through this is to keep going, one word at a time.

How about you? What methods have you got to keep yourself writing?

November IWSG: Getting over the (random) fear...

This blog post probably would've been more appropriate for Halloween, but seeing as how that was less than a week ago, I'm going to use it anyway ;).

It's that time of the month again, when insecure writers from all over the internet unite and blog about their deepest, darkest fears that have been plaguing them for the last month. Special thanks go out to Alex J. Cavanaugh for setting up the group, and a huge thank you to all of this month's co-hosts :)!

Although I'm not officially participating in NaNowriMo this year, I'm currently in the rewriting stage of my first draft, and my Other Half has given me the deadline of the 30th November to get it done - so in a way, I'm with all you brave NaNoWriMos out there, at least in spirit.

But here's the thing - I'm STILL struggling to get my mojo together to get into my rewrites properly. It's not because I don't know what I want to do, or that I hate my story (actually, I've felt more hopeful about this novel in the last few weeks than I have done for a while) - it's something else, and I only managed to put my finger on it last night.

I'm scared of succeeding.

I know, I know how odd that sounds - but the fact is, writing a novel is something I've been working towards since I was about 15. And the thought that by the end of this month my novel should (theoretically) be in a readable form (i.e. I could send it out to my beta readers if I wanted to) really does scare me. Do I have the dedication and motivation to actually finish something for once? After so many false starts and disappointments, I find it hard to believe. It's almost as though my subconscious is telling me that no, I can't do this, I can't actually realise one of my life dreams, heaven forbid - so why bother working on it?

So that's it for this month - a slightly odd topic, I know, but it's been bothering me for the last few days. Hopefully it'll pass soon - only 25 days to go until the finish line!

Happy bonfire night, everyone! Stay safe out there tonight!

Sunday night inspirations...

This weekend has been a bit crazy - for once, I've actually been participating in real life, meaning that although I've barely had the time to write, I feel kinda happy and satisfied at the thought that I've hung out with other human beings (y'know, apart from the ones in my head...). I went to a christening, had a catch up with the Engineer and his sisters, went to the cinema and went out for a meal. Phew!

Oh, and seeing as how the Engineer works ALL THE TIME, he dragged me into his office yesterday afternoon so he could finish something off. He did try to persuade me that this was a good thing, as I could work on my novel uninterrupted for a few hours. "That's all well and good," I grumbled, "but what if I don't WANT to work on my novel? In case you haven't noticed, my muse has TOTALLY AND UTTERLY DESERTED ME!"

I still went (because I'm sucker when it comes to promises of a mocha and chocolate). And you know what? Even though I didn't touch a word on my manuscript, it was a surprisingly productive evening.

I finally pulled together all my scattered notes on the second and third books in my planned trilogy. I added in details to those notes. I made folders for each book on my laptop (this always gives me a geeky rush). I started to get flashes of inspiration for certain scenes in both my current WIP, and the second book which I hurriedly scribbled down. I thought of a vague plot for the third book (which I've been drawing a complete blank on, until now) And finally, finally, I felt myself getting excited about the world that I'd built once again.

And that's not all. I think I may have found a way to drag myself through my rewrites. I knew I wasn't getting anywhere by just opening up my manuscript, copying and pasting a chapter, editing it and then pasting it back in. It still felt like an overwhelming task, even with my beat sheet. So I thought, what was it that got me through my first draft? What did I do this time, that meant I actually finished the damn thing? And that's when it came to me - I needed a new detailed synopsis.

Now, I know this probably seems like a step backwards, but I don't think it will be. I'm not going to do one for my entire novel (at least, not yet). Instead, I'm just going to do it up until my 'inciting incident'. I've chosen to do this because it's the beginning of my novel that needs the most attention - it's the part that I'm essentially going to rip apart and put back together again. To me, this is far to big a task to do with just a few scrawls on my beat sheet. 

We'll see how it goes. I've only just written the first scene for my new detailed synopsis, but already I'm getting a good feeling and what's more, I want to keep writing. I'll let you know how it goes but hey, even if this just turns out to be another form of procrastination - at least it's bound to help my writing in one way or another.

Happy Monday, everyone!

Ploughing on through...kind of...

At the moment I'm supposed to powering through my rewrites, so that my novel will more or less be ready to publish by the end of October. Today, I opened up my diary, saw the big red underline under 31st October, and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

There's no way in hell I'm going to be able to do the amount of work I have to do in just a few short weeks - not unless I have the luxury of my summer holidays back, but alas, that comes but once a year...

And I think that's a huge part of my problem. I'm doing bits and pieces on my WIP, but ultimately, I think I'm stalling. I seem to be waiting for a magical long stretch of time to just open up in front of me so I can write without the bother of, y'know, actually going to work and having an actual life.

I read this post on the NY Times website, and although I'm not too sure whether I feel encouraged by it's message or scared, it has made me realised that the time to get on with my novel is now. Not in an hour, not at the weekend, not next week, now.

Which is why I'm currently staring at my screen, torturously writing one word at a time, as I attempt to finally get going on the final phase of this book. It's not even that I hate my novel (for once), or that I'm being overpowered by insecurities (which makes a change) - it's just that I'm simply being lazy.

I think my task for this weekend will be to find a way that I can work, without procrastinating so much. But until that day comes, I'm just going to have to keep repeating to myself that slow and steady wins the race...I hope...