Switching off the negative light...

Guys, I just wanted to share a little bit of Friday love with you all today.

I've had a couple of comments saying that I sound happier in my recent blog posts, and the fact is, I feel happier in myself. I feel more at peace with myself than I have for years, and even though I hadn't picked up on it, that's coming out in my writing.

Of course, as you all know by now (I swear I'll stop going on about it soon), the main reason why I feel so much better in myself is because I've moved back up to Cumbria. Although I never would've admitted it in my younger, more rebellious, days, Cumbria is where my home is. Although I still want to travel and see the world, it no longer seems quite like the urgent mission it once was. Don't get me wrong, I still want to travel and explore and do new things...but I know now that Cumbria is the place I will always come back to in the end.

And it's amazing how much being at peace and happy with yourself changes your perception on life. I had an inkling when I lived in Norfolk that I was seeing the world in a negative light, but I never realised until I moved exactly how unhappy I was and how much it affected my day to day life. At times, I felt so isolated and lonely, even though I'm so happy with The Engineer and I enjoyed my day job. But I felt as though I couldn't make proper friends at my job no matter how hard I tried; and if I saw on social media that the group of people from work that I hung out with had met up without asking me, I would cry for days simply because I felt so isolated from everyone. Looking back, it's easy for me to admit that I wasn't in the best place.

Now though, I feel like I'm slowly re-gaining some of my self-confidence. I want to stop and talk to people in the village (on Monday night I spent and unexpected hour at a neighbour's house, just having a chat - this is why I love Cumbria), I've starting to look people in the eye more, and - most importantly - I feel like I can handle situations better. Before if I had a problem, I felt like it was the end of the world. Now if something goes wrong, I may feel a bit anxious, but then I think, 'okay, this is the problem, so let's find a solution'. At the time of writing this blog post, I hadn't heard back from my interview on Tuesday, but even hearing the outcome of that doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would - what will be will be, and I'll just have to face whatever happens when it happens.

And because I feel like I'm in a better place mentally, physically I feel like I'm holding myself better too. I'm standing up taller, I'm smiling more and I'm not ashamed of who I am. Last Saturday, I attended a friend's wedding - the sun was shining, I was in good company, and for the first time in a long long time, I felt good about myself (despite mother bear's insistence that my lipstick was far too red). And there's nothing wrong with that - people should embrace who they are, and celebrate themselves as much as possible. So that's why I've included some photos of the wedding below - because I'm proud of myself to be standing in the sun with my best friend and my family, smiling at the world.

Let's hope that that negative light stays switched off for good.

Have great weekend, folks!

The Engineer, Me and The Sister's Boyfriend

 Ditto :)

Me and The Engineer 

Me and The Sister

Me and The Engineer :)

Have you ever realised that your perception of life has changed because of a certain situation? How did you handle it? What are you up to this weekend?

Patience is a virtue....

You may remember last week I posted about starting my own herb garden - well, I have some good news: IT'S STARTED TO GROW!!

Apologies for being so excitable about this, but when you somehow manage to kill everything you try to grow, this is a massive achievement. Especially considering the seeds only cost 30p...

After a week of excitedly checking my plants several times a day, this is the sight that greeted me on Saturday morning:

That right there is my very own basil :). In the soil next to it, I can see some of my other seeds started to germinate, which is pretty cool (I'm also convinced I can smell garlic already from the garlic chives, but that may just be my overactive imagination).

So, this got me thinking: everything needs time - growing herbs, baking a cake, writing a book. You just need to have a little patience and be willing to work at it. It might sound like a completely cheesy thought, but that's what I'm going to try to remember about my novel. So what if it feels like it's taking forever to write? I just need to knuckle down and be prepared to work at it. And in the end, those like shoots of an idea will eventually turn into a flourishing book (y'know, if I don't forget to water it, that is).

Happy Monday, and happy writing, everyone!

Happy New Year!

Okay, so this may be slightly belated, but Happy New Year to all you lovely people anyway :). I hope you're all wonderfully refreshed and raring to go after the Christmas holidays, or maybe you're more like me and have to dragged kicking and screaming into the real world again after a 2 and a half week break....

Anyway - to be honest, I don't have much to report. It's been a long time since I've attempted to do any writing, and I keep getting distracted by other things (e.g. reading and watching Game of Thrones). I have made a few writing-based New Year resolutions, and this year, instead of just telling myself I'll do something, I've written down a whole list of resolutions I'm going to try and achieve this year. Don't get your hopes up though - I love writing lists, I'm just not good at crossing things off!

But still, we'll see how it goes! I may share a couple with you over the coming weeks, but you all know me by now - I'm incredibly flaky! I always say I'll do something and mean to do it, but never do...perhaps that should be another one of my resolutions - no flakiness!

Anyway - how about you, lovely authors? What are your New Year resolutions, writing based or otherwise :)?

Have a great weekend!

xx

Tea and tunes...

So, the last time I wrote, I said I was finally going to open up my detailed synopsis and start writing.

That didn't happen.

Mainly because I am the world's biggest procrastinator and I kept putting off the big moment again and again.

HOWEVER, today is the day! I've got a free morning, so I'm sitting here with a mug of tea, the radio on, Spotify running and staring with increasing panic at my flash pen, before I finally take the plunge and see what kind of crap I wrote all that time ago. Still, it's got to happen at some point, and if I'm going to be serious about writing, I can't put it off any longer.

So here it goes.

I'll write again later, and let you know if a) I'm delighted and can't wait to start writing again or b) I've thrown my laptop out of the window in frustration.

Honestly, who thought just looking at a bloody synopsis would be so nerve-wracking?! If I'm like this now, I don't even wanna know what I'll be like if I ever finish the first draft!

On the plus side, if it really is that awful, there's another novel idea that's been floating around in my head for the past couple of days - so I could always do that instead ;).

Have a great day everyone!

xx

Lazy Sundays....kind of...

I honestly didn't mean to leave it so long until I blogged again - but I wanted to waited until I could share some exciting news with you all before I did :) (I could also use the excuse that I've been busy - which is perfectly true, but at the same time, I know I could've blogged if I was really motivated to!)

Anyway, first things first....a quick update on my book progress. As I mentioned in my previous post which you can find here, I'm stilling following the guidelines set out in 'How to nail your Novel' by Roz Morris. However, I may have, er, slightly have left my synopsis longer than I originally meant to! I did mean to start it again last weekend, as the Other Half was a away for a week, so I knew I wouldn't have any distractions - but I got distracted reading the AMAZING second book in the Game of Thrones series 'A Clash of Kings' instead (and I can't emphasize how much I absolutely adore this series - it is utterly amazing!). So instead, I think after I've been food shopping and to the gym (and possibly a small shopping trip thrown in for good measure too) today, tonight I am going to sit down and finally look over what I did, all those weeks ago. I know there are some parts I'm going to hate -  already I can think of a few scenes where I just want to cringe and hide - but I'm determined not to let that stop me. I really want this novel to finally go somewhere, so even if I don't like what I see, I'm determined to try and work on it, instead of just throwing it away like I have with so many other novels. I'll let you know how it goes!

So, onto my news - I can't remember if I've moaned over my lack of getting a job over the past few months (try about five) on here - I think I have, or at least, I've wanted to! However, it is with utter relief that I can finally announce that I HAVE A REAL GROWN-UP JOB!

Hooray!! I'm so so happy and relieved right now. I can't express the utter desperation, depression and exhaustion I've felt since, well, before I left university really. The job market really is horrendous, and it's so disheartening to keep applying for jobs and then to keep getting rejection after rejection. However, finally, a publisher has decided to take a chance on me and I am so happy that it's a job that I really really wanted - finally, all my tears and tantrums have paid off!

I know this means that I'll have even less time to write than I do at the minute, but hopefully it'll just push me harder to succeed in my writing - and it's proof that if you just keep trying and don't give up, you'll get what you want in the end :).

Have a great weekend, folks! I'll write again soon, I promise!

xx

So...did I do it?...

If you've been following my blog over the past few weeks, you might have picked up on the fact that I've been scribbling away trying to write a first draft for my novel by the 19th June...and I know the question you're all wondering now is - did I do it??

And the answer is....no.

I didn't manage to complete my novel, but am I disappointed? Hell, no!

In all my other WIPs, the most I've ever managed to write is around 17,000 words - the word count for my current novel is over 40,000. To me, that's a tremendous achievement. I've never stuck at one project for so long, or remained so excited about a WIP for so long either. I still find myself constantly dreaming up scenes while I'm trying to get to sleep, or while I'm out and about, and I simply have to scribble it down. I keep imagining that moment when I've finished it completely, and how excited I'll be when I can finally share it with the world....

Although ideally I would have liked to have reached around 50,000 words, I'm not going to dwell on the fact that it's a little short of that (ha! If 10,000 words can be called 'short'). All I can do now is keep going and hope that I don't run out of steam - it would be a shame if all this effort went to waste!

So, I'm setting myself a new deadline. Hopefully my writing time won't be interrupted by sudden illnesses (stupid stomach bugs...) or holidays (to be honest, I knew I was going away but I thought I could work around it...turns out holidays aren't the most productive writing time for me) or little things such as graduation (happening TODAY at 6pm - eek!!). I am determined to finish this book to prove to myself that I CAN do it!

So here's my new deadline: 1st July 2012


That gives me a little over a week to finish this draft - and after that, I have all the fun of editing it - hooray!

I can't wait to see if I actually manage to do it. Even if I end up putting the deadline back AGAIN, I think I've learned something over the past few weeks - I'm definitely someone who needs a deadline to work to!!

Happy writing, everyone!

xx

It's decision time...

Okay, so as you all know, I'm pretty obsessed with my latest WIP and I don't want to lose enthusiasm for it. Therefore I've decided that I am going to give myself a deadline for this novel.

Now, this deadline won't be for the final FINAL draft - it'll be for the first draft, with all it's mistakes and in need of serious editing. But I thought that after I've finished the first draft, I'll set another deadline to complete the whole thing by, and then another deadline for all the revisions etc etc...but we'll just stick with the first draft for now.

So, when will this deadline be, I hear you cry? Well, I've decided that it will be...(drum roll please)

Tuesday 19th June 2012!


That's right, I'm giving myself less than a month (in fact a nice, round 25 days) to complete a first draft of my book.

So why this date? Well, I was going to give myself until 1st July, but then I thought, I've always wanted to complete a novel by the time I was 16, by the time I was 18 and then, by the time I was 21. I've never managed to stick to these deadlines and the reason I chose the 19th June is because I graduate on 20th June. What better way to celebrate becoming a fully-fledged adult that forcing myself to work hard, and cry, and drink endless cups of tea into the small hours of the morning? Well, in all honesty, I've had enough practice at this, having been a student for the past three years.

So that's the plan. By midnight on 19th June 2012, I will have completed the first draft of my novel. If I finish it before then (Ha! Unlikely!) then I will start the process of editing it, but I think I'll just settle for a rough manuscript for now. I'm off to add a countdown timer to my blog now, so I won't forget!

What do you guys think? Have you ever given yourself a tight deadline to complete a novel in? Let me know your thoughts!

xx

Of spiders and tea...

It's only 8am, and already I'm not having a good day...

Went to wash up the dishes this morning, and what do I find? A great big hairy spider in one of the sinks....and it wasn't one of the ones that you could ignore or leave be...it was huge and scuttling around everywhere. So I washed it down the plughole with a load of washing up water - I did feel a bit bad because I didn't want to kill it, but it looked so horrible, I didn't want it anywhere near me! And then, when I went into the bathroom to go for a shower, I looked up and what do I see? TWO more spiders in the top corner of the shower! I freaked out and refused to go in...luckily, The Other Half finishes work early on a Friday, so he can come and sort it out for me before we leave for Yeovil :).

I don't know where all these spiders have come from. I mean, our house always seems to feature one or two, but for the last few days it's been ridiculous! I did have some windows open all day yesterday, but I think I would've noticed a dirty great spider crawling in!! Also, is it just me, or do spiders tend to congregate in bathrooms? Its like they think 'hmm, how can we annoy humans the most? I know, let's hide above the bath and drop down on them when we're least expecting it...'

 Anyway, before I start on a massive rant about how much I hate spiders, I think I may have decided on a deadline for my latest project...I'm going to treat today like another working day again (and if I really was at work, I'm sure I'd be getting a bollocking right now for being late and blogging when I'm supposed to be working...oh well) and see how I get on. I'll hopefully have made a finally decision by lunchtime :)!

Oh yeah, and as for the 'tea' part of this blog post - think I'm gonna have to go and make myself a nice strong mug of it to a) wake me up and b) help me get over the trauma of this morning....

OH - and I almost forgot to mention...A big hello and warm welcome to the two newest members of this blog :)!! Thanks for joining and I look forward to chatting with you :)!!

Have a great morning everyone! 

xx

Good Morning!

Inventive blog post title, I know! I'm going to keep this post short and sweet, as I know you won't want to be bombarded with my usual long, rambling thoughts this early in the morning...

Today I have decided to get up early, and treat it like a normal working day - which means writing from 8am to around 4pm. I'm actually quite looking forward to it - I really want to see if I'll be able to stay motivated, and also see how much further on with my novel I'll get...

I'm also tempted to set a deadline for when I should have completed the first draft of this novel. However, I know that I'm no good at sticking to my own deadlines (if it's coursework, I'm fine, in fact I always like to hand it in early!), but I'm hoping that if I post my progress on here, it may keep me motivated to keep going...

What do you think? Does setting your own deadlines help you with your writing? Do you manage to stick the deadlines that you set?

Let me know what you think!

Xx