IWSG July: Wedding Panic

Hello everyone! It's time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post - once a month, writers from around the internet get together to encourage and cheer each other on. This fantastic group was set up by Alex J. Cavanaugh - if you'd like to find out more or sign up, check out the official IWSG website.

I have a confession to make: I haven't done any writing since my last blog post. In all honesty, trying to learn a new job and organising a wedding has been taking up all of my time lately - I've barely had the time to stop and breathe, let alone write. Which although makes me a tiny bit sad, at the same time, I don't really mind because I know after my wedding/honeymoon I'll once again be free to write as much as I like at nights. And I. Can't. Wait.

I've already had several breakdowns over the wedding - if you think it's all made up about how a bride bursts into tears because some tiny insignificant detail isn't right, or she threw a hissy fit because the shoe shop where she ordered her shoes from didn't get them in the right size - trust me, it's all real. But it's probably not because the poor girl is a bridezilla - she's probably just extra stressed because of all of the extra demands being laid on her, and she doesn't know what she's doing but everyone is expecting her to be in control, and her mum won't stop talking about the wedding even though there are 1000 other things on her mind too. And don't even get me started on the cost of a wedding - despite trying to keep to a budget, somehow costs just keep spiralling (guys if you're wondering what job to do next, I seriously recommend starting up some kind of wedding company...).

But I digress - the main point of this point is to a) reassure everyone that I'm still alive, b) apologise to those of you who have been in touch lately but I haven't replied - I'm not ignoring you, I'm just trying to do 100 things at once and c) to let you guys know that although this post isn't about writing (again), I'm going to just be visiting blogs this week and trying to spread the writerly love/cheer. I seriously can't wait for this month to be over so I can get back to some kind of normality. On the plus side, I'm still thinking/dreaming about my characters amongst all the mayhem, so when August rolls around, I'll be able to dive straight back into writing once again.

Have you ever majorly stressed about your wedding? Or your writing? What are your writing insecurities this month?

Switching off the negative light...

Guys, I just wanted to share a little bit of Friday love with you all today.

I've had a couple of comments saying that I sound happier in my recent blog posts, and the fact is, I feel happier in myself. I feel more at peace with myself than I have for years, and even though I hadn't picked up on it, that's coming out in my writing.

Of course, as you all know by now (I swear I'll stop going on about it soon), the main reason why I feel so much better in myself is because I've moved back up to Cumbria. Although I never would've admitted it in my younger, more rebellious, days, Cumbria is where my home is. Although I still want to travel and see the world, it no longer seems quite like the urgent mission it once was. Don't get me wrong, I still want to travel and explore and do new things...but I know now that Cumbria is the place I will always come back to in the end.

And it's amazing how much being at peace and happy with yourself changes your perception on life. I had an inkling when I lived in Norfolk that I was seeing the world in a negative light, but I never realised until I moved exactly how unhappy I was and how much it affected my day to day life. At times, I felt so isolated and lonely, even though I'm so happy with The Engineer and I enjoyed my day job. But I felt as though I couldn't make proper friends at my job no matter how hard I tried; and if I saw on social media that the group of people from work that I hung out with had met up without asking me, I would cry for days simply because I felt so isolated from everyone. Looking back, it's easy for me to admit that I wasn't in the best place.

Now though, I feel like I'm slowly re-gaining some of my self-confidence. I want to stop and talk to people in the village (on Monday night I spent and unexpected hour at a neighbour's house, just having a chat - this is why I love Cumbria), I've starting to look people in the eye more, and - most importantly - I feel like I can handle situations better. Before if I had a problem, I felt like it was the end of the world. Now if something goes wrong, I may feel a bit anxious, but then I think, 'okay, this is the problem, so let's find a solution'. At the time of writing this blog post, I hadn't heard back from my interview on Tuesday, but even hearing the outcome of that doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would - what will be will be, and I'll just have to face whatever happens when it happens.

And because I feel like I'm in a better place mentally, physically I feel like I'm holding myself better too. I'm standing up taller, I'm smiling more and I'm not ashamed of who I am. Last Saturday, I attended a friend's wedding - the sun was shining, I was in good company, and for the first time in a long long time, I felt good about myself (despite mother bear's insistence that my lipstick was far too red). And there's nothing wrong with that - people should embrace who they are, and celebrate themselves as much as possible. So that's why I've included some photos of the wedding below - because I'm proud of myself to be standing in the sun with my best friend and my family, smiling at the world.

Let's hope that that negative light stays switched off for good.

Have great weekend, folks!

The Engineer, Me and The Sister's Boyfriend

 Ditto :)

Me and The Engineer 

Me and The Sister

Me and The Engineer :)

Have you ever realised that your perception of life has changed because of a certain situation? How did you handle it? What are you up to this weekend?